Whewee! Does Mona have some corny, gonna make you laugh....or at least Smile...Funny Stories for your Wednesday! Enjoy the reads....... :)
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forest approaches the gatekeeper.
Saint Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven."
Forrest responds, "It shore is good to be here Saint Peter. I was looking forward to this. Nobody ever told me about any entrance exams. Shore hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."
Saint Peter goes on, "Yes, I know Forrest. But, the test I have for you is only three questions. Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? Third, what is God’s first name?"
Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns the next day and goes up to Saint Peter to try to answer the exam questions.
Saint Peter waves him up and asks, "Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers."
Forrest says, "Well, the first one, how many days of the week begin with the letter ‘T’?" "Shucks, that one’s easy; that’d be Today and Tomorrow!"
The saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest! That’s not what I was thinking, but ... you do have a point though, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I give you credit for that answer."
"How about the next one" says Saint Peter, "how many seconds in a year?"
"Now that one’s harder," says Forrest. "But, I thunk and thunk about that, and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
Astounded, Saint Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"
Forrest says, "Shucks, there gotta be twelve: January second, February second, March second...."
"Hold it," interrupts Saint Peter. "I see where you’re going with it. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind. I’ll give you credit for that one too."
"Let’s go on with the next and final question," says Saint Peter, "Can you tell me God’s first name?"
Forest says, "Well shore, I know God’s first name. Everybody probly knows It’s Howard."
"Howard?" asks Saint Peter. "What makes you think it’s ‘Howard’?"
Forest answers, "It’s in the prayer."
"The prayer?" asks Saint Peter, "Which prayer?"
"The Lord’s Prayer," responds Forest: "Our Father, Who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name..."
Reginald was terribly overweight, so his doctor placed him on a strict diet.
"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds," his doctor assured him.
When Reginald returned he shocked his doctor by having lost almost twenty pounds.
"Why, that's amazing," the doctor said, greatly impressed, "You certainly must have followed my instructions."
Reginald nodded, "I'll tell you what though, I thought I was going to drop dead on the third day."
"Why, from hunger?" asked his doctor.
"No, from all that skipping."
Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Camping Trip
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they lay down for the night, and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" said Holmes.
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you jerk. Someone has stolen our tent."
LOL Loves! I told you they were corny (I'm still laughing at the Sherlock Holmes' Camping Trip).......but I hope they made you chuckle....made you Smile. There's NOTHING like a Good Laugh........Fuel for the Soul......And from what I've heard....Laughing Keeps You Young :)
"And so, he will make you happy and give you something to smile about." (Job 8:21, CEV)
Mets Gushing Moment:
OK!! Just Two Words........DONE! FORK!!
Hmmmmm OK! Few more words......BIG SEXXXXXY - #HitBallFar! Pitchers of PERFECTION - All God Stuff! Yo Goodness!! #KeepOnBreakingThoseRecords! Bull Pen....BULL DOZING!
My Metsies = Mighty Warriors = Shining Stars = AMAZINGLY GIFTED & BLESSED!
WE are Witnessing HISTORY **Real Time** Y'all! Hope You're SOAKING IT ALL IN :)
Continued Success and Blessings.
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