Today's Mona Girl Blog is going to be a FUNNY read. "Thank You" to my friend Paula for sharing the Church Bulletin Laughs with me so I can share with YOU :) Enjoy, smile and yeah.....even laugh out loud! Laughing, as we already know, is Good for the Soul!!
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank You Lord for the wonderful church ladies with their trusty typewriters.
These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water. ‘The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered...
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM... The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
And this one just about sums them all up........
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday:
'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
Family, I want to close out today's Mona Girl Blog with a quote from one of the Greatest to play the game of Baseball!! Here's to a Wonderful Man with an Amazing Energy and Spirit. His Soul lives on in Heaven and I KNOW he's continuing to spread love and laughter!!
Continued Success & Blessings Family!!
Also Family, FYI.............
Our Lord has put on my heart to start a Prayer & Praise Line! And YOU KNOW ME, I am uber **Obedient** when it comes to His Suggestions, so I AM ON IT!! The calls will be the last Sunday of the Month, with the next call being Sunday, September 27th. Dial-in anonymously, give your name at the prompt, join in for a few minutes or the entire hour......however you choose to participate is completely up to you :)
Time: 7:00p - 8:00p ET
Dial-In Number: (605) 477-2100
Passcode: 343645#
**Feel free to email me at wincty@aol.com if you have any questions prior to the call.
I AM HOLLERING. So funny. Please tell me these were pre-written and all that wit hasn't been bottled up all this time.
ReplyDeleteRod, I can just HEAR you HOLLERING!! I laughed so hard because I've been in churches where the Bulletin or Reader of the Announcements on Sunday Morning have made similar faux pas!! I KNOW Our Lord just smiles and does a "smh" - LOL! I shared the list as I received from Paula. Not sure of the time frame they were written or combined....seems like it is a routing that occurs often due to the language of "They're back". If they come around again....a new batch, YOU know I will post on Mona Girl Blog. xoxoxoxox
ReplyDelete